Saturday, June 12, 2010

Rude People: Part 1

Rude people… Really?

I can't stand rude people. I know I'm a bit of a PW, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the people that cut you off in traffic, the people that are excessively loud at all the inappropriate times, the people that are just begging the world to punch them in the face. Almost everyone who reads this will know exactly what I'm talking about; and if you can't track with me than I'm confident that everything I'm saying is about you.

When I'm driving in traffic, and I'm waiting in line for the exit with EVERYONE ELSE for 10 minutes, please do not cut me off at the last minute. This may cause me to flip you off and begin hoping for your imminent demise. Why is cutting in line acceptable while you’re in traffic? It’s not ok at any other time. If you were waiting in the ever-present, and always unacceptably long line, at Walmart and someone decided to walk around and past everyone and cut in right at the register, all hell would break loose. I’m pretty sure there would be glass bottles and metal chairs breaking over some backs if this happened. But because you’re in your car and no one can see your face you feel confident enough to flash your rude and do what you want.

Just this morning, someone rode up on the shoulder and burned up all the gas in their tank so that they could get around me at a point where our lanes merged so that they could move up a whole car’s length in traffic and save a potential 2.3 seconds on their drive. I’m sorry, am I in your way? I apologize for forgetting that you are the most important person in the world. You clearly have somewhere much more important to be than I do and are of much more value to the world then every other person on the road. As soon as this happened I began praying that this “king” would get into a fiery crash immediately after finding out that his entire family was murdered and everyone that he loved now hated him. Think that’s harsh? Don’t cut me off in traffic I won’t pray for your ultimate destruction.

No matter how awesome you think you are, no matter how much your love your “snuggle bear,” no matter how important your dentist appointment is, no one else in the world wants to hear about it. Keep your phone calls to yourself. You’re on a phone; it’s made to pick up your voice. You don’t have to yell, I promise the person on the other end of the line, who is unfortunate enough to have to talk to you, can hear you. I don’t need to hear about your poor drunken decision from last night, your astoundingly annoying boyfriend/baby voice, or about your visit to the gyno last week. Keep it to yourself. Oh, and turn the damn volume of your ringer down, nobody else cares that you’re getting a text.

.... Part 2 to follow at some other point in the future.